ADDICTION IS DISBURDENING

Addiction as Disburdening

What addiction distracts me from is my own life. In such distraction, it relieves me of the burden of that life; of actually having to live it out, with all the uncertainty, boredom, routine, frustration, and disappointment that so often characterize even the most fortunate life. Most especially, addiction relieves me of the need to keep on searching for meaning in my life, the need to give my own life meaning through commitment, dedication, and daily perseverance. Thanks to my addiction, the search is over. I no longer have to give my own life meaning. Because my addiction is the meaning, my addiction gives it meaning.
Practicing an addiction becomes an all-consuming activity. The time involved in actually taking the drug or engaging in the addictive behavior is only a small part of the total time devoted to the addiction. Time spent securing the supply of the drug or the opportunity to act out some behavioral compulsion, time spent planning to use or act out, time spent arranging all of the trappings and rituals one has built into using the drug or performing the action-time spent on these and all the other activities that go with the addiction must also be taken into account. When they are it is easy to see how the addict's addiction can come to fill up the entirety of the addict's life, squeezing out all else.

Life ceases to be a burden once one turns it over to one's addiction. It ceases to require decisions, since all decisions have already been made. All that's left to do is to carry out, over and over and over again, the same ritualized behaviors, leading to the same, ritualized results. The addiction now lives one's life for one, disburdening on of it.

IN A GRIM PARODY OF THE SLOGAN "ONE DAY AT AT A TIME" THE ADDICT'S LIFE GOES ON IN THAT  FASHION LONG AFTER  ALL THE LIFE HAS BEEN DRAINED OUT OF IT.

20 year Berwick Panther Reunion

Back in 92', yeah, way back when, we
had big hair, it was Berwick, even zchavarichies were in
tight rolled pants, "doo-rags on our heads",
sneakin' into Randy's, fake I.D.'s in our pants,
if you think hard, you should remember,
we had peel top cans, V.C.R.'s, microwaves weren't
in everyone's kitchen,
we are from the generation,
where when we were kids, on summer vacation,
we could ride in a Monte Carlo all weekend,
on no more than $4.50,
and the four years prior,
relationships were made,
some held strong, some didn't,
heart's were broken, it's made all the difference,
remember how serious we took that stuff,
we had the heads, the preps, and  even the "JOCKS",
but it was
on those cool fall, Friday nights,
we all cam together at those,
victory dances,
though we won maybe once,
it didnt much matter,
but when we won that game, damn,
it was like winning a championship!
cold beer, bon-fires, and that occassional fight,
it was our "GLORY YEARS" and we held on so tight,
some let go easy, while others felt like it was the end of their life,
but, we all are here except one beautiful girl,
Layla Briehn, she left us to early one unfortunate night,
but she is still with us, a glimpse of an un-fair world,
we grew up together and then we grew apart,
time flies, you know, it's been twenty-years,
but we've all really got started,
a lot of blood, sweat, and a million tears,
now, we have doctors, lawyers, welders and fitters,
engineers, salesman and some still live off their parent's riches,
but, we're here and GOD has blessed us,
thru all of these years,
to have enough love to come together,
can't lie, it's kind of wierd,
we wear name tags to be sure we know who's who,
bald heads, beer bellies, nah bra...not you,
but, whoever made the decison on graduation night,
to play that song, YOU got it right,
it is so hard to say good-bye,
to yesterday,
but so beautiful that after twenty-years
we can say we made it.
GOD BLESS!
I hope we have 20 more!

B.Perry

A NEW DAY

A new day (September 7, 2010)

fadinginto a new image
are the sad memories
of times lost to aself-inflicted
disease,
feelings rush back likeroaring
waves
cleansing those,
and my soul,
the sun shines,
it's ray's radiant heat
melts away the shadow of sadness
which used to exist...
Times like these
 exude aconfidence
within me.......HIGH,
 the highest peak of the
tallest mountain top..
Happiness (I pray) will
remain
as I travel down
my chosen,
but beautiful path,
 I do not know,
or care to know,
Only wonder,
wonder what will
be at the end...
and who's to say
I won't make a mistake,
but, as the day fades on my world,
dawn peaks thru the window(pain)
of someone,
somewhere, who feels my pain,
and it is I who feels yours,
never alone,
forever young.
--

Brad Perry

planting a wish, sowing it's worth

like a carousel

ride, I go round

and round,

a season of my life,

seeds continue to sprout

from the ground,

worthless fruit which grows without a drop,

so what is a man supposed to do,

but reap what he has sowed,

pick his crop,

then plow the ground,

plant once more and hope it's

not,

what is now beneath his toes.

planting a wish, sowing it's worth

like a carousel

ride, I go round

and round,

a season of my life,

seeds continue to sprout

from the ground,

worthless fruit which grows without a drop,

so what is a man supposed to do,

but reap what he has sowed,

pick his crop,

then plow the ground,

plant once more and hope it's

not,

what is now beneath his toes.