mom

Mom,
when did you know me?
Was I a thought that whispered in your ear long ago?
Like that first, fall-breeze that blew your pettycoat.
Or,
Maybe it was after sister was born,
You may have came up with my name within the 35 month difference between us,
Your story says that she wanted to name me Johnny Cash.
Did you pick my name being a bit more conservative?
I thought of you before GOD gave me another go at it.
I picked you MOM!
So,
What is your favorite color?
I will guess and say blue.
Because you gave this boy everything needed to become a man.
But,
Baseballs and bruises,
Each with memories.
Maybe your favorite color is pink,
and if it is,
I will give you both eyes,
And the swollen tissue which incapsulates each,
For you have given everything,
To me,
And still look upon me as your child,
Love has no boundaries,
No limits,
Unconditionally I owe you my all.
You, the greatest of moms.

Dear Dad

Dad,

I wish I knew your favorite color,

The only one of God's many crayons that gets you to sit up straighter.

To unbraid your spine from a snake infested pirogue',

I bet its red.

like a sea I've never seen

But hear quite often in your voice late at night

If it is, I will strip my skin off my body.

Bare crimson flesh.

I'm sure that you'd look at me more often

If I was the color that makes you smile,

maybe make you proud,

just one time,

But maybe it's black

A bayou shade that can only be achieved by swallowing the murkiest swamp,

 

 I will drown in Bear Bayou,

where we used to fish,

for a kiss on my corpse cheek,

Because I often forget you have lips,

Only reminded when the moon gets home before I do,

They bite.

Sting like thunderclaps And you are oblivious to this.

Tell me it's brown,

 I will have no problem with ripping out these weak strands of hair

And stitching them to the left side of your chest

 So you can feel your pulse in my chest hair.

Except I know you were never one to wade in the dark.

That leaves white as my next option.

 If this is in fact your favorite color I will be forced to Novocain myself speechless.

Pull my teeth one by one out of my mouth and into my palm

 Fist full of smiles that I usually only bless silence with,

 I have a high tolerance for pain

So masochism wouldnt be my objective,

 

You love on a grayscale.

 Like a schizophrenic paraplegic

Is it because your 2 siblings stripped the rainbow from your throat.

 Each draining 2-3 different colors from the sky in your sound.

 A shaky squeak left in a scraped up voice box I can barely hear.

 I want you to know

That there is human, real flesh lining the insides of my elbows

So hug me, Dad.

Pretend that you like me long enough to capture the color in my flesh.

 Suffocate me,

 Caved in shoulders and a rising chest,

Squeeze the life out of me so that you can see rainbows again

 Don't see it as a homicide

 But a sacrifice for the greater good.  

 I know that now you probably think I'm crazy,

That this is just another one of my phase down-falls, 

But I'm not crazy, Dad.

 Humans just have crazy tendencies when we want someone to love us.

I want you to stop living in black and white images.

Pay close attention to the movement in your children's pigment.

 Maybe that way, you'll finally see that the both of us are in fact your favorite color.

into the time I haven't seen,
heard, felt,
dreamed,
a tear burns my skin,
for each second lost,
everything,
re-capturing,
what means the most,
to me.

mine

love, the nostalgia left after the fire burns,
to smouldering embers,
tears, the words thought to say,
after the wrong ones are said,
the one who truely cares,
taboo,
in a life of which my soul is bared,
no one seems to enter,
so unprepared,
and in my haste,
I conquer all good,
as if it were all mine,
to taste.